Stick to Your Own Field

I was at another kind of doctor appointment last week and we were talking about babies and the future.  I said I was still on the fence.  She told me, “Well if you want to you really need to sit down with us and your endocrinologist so we can make sure you are healthy and ready for it.”  I’ve read many a pregnant type 1 blogs, have personal friends who have had multiple children while a type 1, even read up on the matter myself.  I feel fairly informed.

I proceeded to tell her if I ever thought about having kids I would probably talk to my endo first and that my current a1c was a 6.5%.  She drew in a sharp breath and said, “That’s high!”  I whipped my head up and was like, “Bitch, say what!?”  No, I didn’t really say that but in MY most pissed off tone said, “I think that’s quite good and so does my doctor.  Most diabetics strive to be below 7%.”

Now if I were trying to become pregnant, sure I would aim to get my a1c lower.  But that’s me right now, with no CGM for more than 8 months, and me really not trying all that hard.  (I know, I know…)

So get your judgey judge non-diabetic doctor face out of my hoo-ha biznizz and let me deal with the “d”.  When I need to push a kid out, I may have to look elsewhere!

And in the past two weeks I am happy to have so many new babies in my life.  Welcome to the world Helena, Bennet and Kiera!


Diabetes Blog Week Day 5: Foods on Friday.

Today is the fifth day of Diabetes Blog Week, hosted by the amazing Karen at Bitter-Sweet.  Each day I will attempt to blog about the topic put forth to diabetics across the world.

Click for the Foods on Friday – Friday 5/15 Link List. 
Taking a cue from 
Adam Brown’s recent post, write a post documenting what you eat in a day!  Feel free to add links to recommended recipes/shops/whatever.  Make it an ideal day or a come-as-you-are day – no judgments either way.  (Thank you, Katy of  Bigfoot Child Have Diabetes for this topic.)


I’ve been thinking about this post since I first saw what the topics were going to be.  I don’t really have a good/fun/interesting post to write about my daily intake.  Sure I’ve had my “I’m eating everything and anything for 24 hours and I don’t care I just took 90 units of insulin!” But most days since I work, I have my everyday routine meals.  Sorry for the uninspired post.  I was up till 2am last night…So without further ado, my lame eating habits!

-1 Packet of Swiss Miss No Sugar Added Hot Chocolate
-1 Cup of coffee
-¼ cup milk
-Hot water
Mix all together for delicious (hella cheaper than Starbucks) Mocha
-Small carton of blackberries.  Super juicy and ripe!

-1 cup fat free cottage cheese with honey to taste.
-4oz of grilled chicken breast in sesame ginger marinade
-Fresh mango
-Half a pita

-Leftover baked ziti with spinach and sausage
-Orange San Pellegrino

Low blood sugar:
-Capri Sun

-Cabernet Sauvignon until I am happy

Treat Yo Self:
-One Mini Reeses Peanut Butter Cup
-About 10 Sour Cherry Balls (I am addicted.)

Before bed:
-Do vitamin gummies count?  If so then 2 gummies before I go to bed!

The weekends are a different story.  I’m fairly loosey goosey and let myself go a little wild but for 5 days out of the week, above is pretty much what I do.

Let's eat like Kings!
Let’s eat like Kings!

Diabetes Blog Week Day 4: Changes.

Today is the fourth day of Diabetes Blog Week, hosted by the amazing Karen at Bitter-Sweet.  Each day I will attempt to blog about the topic put forth to diabetics across the world.

Click for the Changes – Thursday 5/14 Link List.
Today let’s talk about changes, in one of two ways.  Either tell us what you’d most like to see change about diabetes, in any way.  This can be management tools, devices, medications, people’s perceptions, your own feelings – anything at all that you feel could use changing.  OR reflect back on some changes you or your loved one has seen or been through since being diagnosed with diabetes.  Were they expected or did they surprise you?


Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes! Love me some David Bowie!

The one thing I would love to see change in the Diabetes World (besides a cure and so many other things) is more recognition of adults with t1d.  I realize that in the DOC we are everywhere which is Ah. Mah. Zing!!!  But in my “real world life”, sans internet, we easily fade away.

I personally have a great group here in Denver of type 1 adults.  We meet at least once a month, have Facebook pages, Twitter and an email chain.  They are some of the best people I know.  While there are about 20 of us who meet regularly, I know there are hundreds if not thousands of us within a 20 mile radius… but how do I reach them?

I wish JDRF, ADA, myself through DCAF, somewhere, somehow, would create a job for me so I could create meet up groups across the nation.  In each state, each city.  That every endo, doctor office, diabetes organization, would spread the word to adult patients.

And technically, that’s what I am trying to accomplish myself, one piece at a time.  I started a group here in Denver.  I have become active in my local JDRF chapter on their Outreach Committee to make sure the Rocky Mountain area knows there are people like us out there.  But it needs to be on a national scale that is then implemented to all local chapters.


So that’s what I really want to see.  There is a need for adult groups and awareness.  I don’t want to get lost in the shuffle after I’m no longer a child.  Kids grow up, adults are diagnosed at all ages. There needs to be a place for us.

And on that note I am off to a Community Outreach meeting with JDRF right now to see how they can help serve the needs of t1d groups such as; Grandparents, Teens, African Americans, Adults, Mentors, Families.  It just needs to happen!  I demand satisfaction!

You heard me.  Do it right meow!
You heard me.  Do it right meow!

Diabetes Blog Week Day 3: Clean it Out.

Today is the third day of Diabetes Blog Week, hosted by the amazing Karen at Bitter-Sweet.  Each day I will attempt to blog about the topic put forth to diabetics across the world.

Click for the Clean it Out – Wednesday 5/13 Link List.
Yesterday we kept stuff in, so today let’s clear stuff out.  What is in your diabetic closet that needs to be cleaned out?  This can be an actual physical belonging, or it can be something you’re mentally or emotionally hanging on to.  Why are you keeping it and why do you need to get rid of it?  (Thank you Rick of 
RA Diabetes for this topic suggestion.)


Like most diabetics, I have a “Rapture, Doomsday, good God the zombies are attacking!” closet filled with diabetic supplies.  I have kept items well past their expiration date.  I think I may still have alcohol wipes from when I was first diagnosed 18 years ago.  You know, just in case I finally start wiping my finger each and every time I test?

My new infusion bin!
My new infusion bin!
Old sensors
Old sensors
Doubt what it is marked is what's inside.
Yes, I know it says “stripes” not strips

Every few months (usually when a new shipment arrives) I take everything out, rearrange, repack and reorganize the closet.  That doesn’t mean I get rid of anything.  I currently have two boxes of unused sensors for both my Medtronic and Dexcom.  (The Medtronic sensors are from 8 years ago!)

So with this post, I vow to finally get rid of the SoftSensors and its HARPOON.  If you don’t know what the harpoon is watch this around 4:30.  That damn harpoon is traumatic and it’s time to take it out Office Space style. 

That is my physical clean it out.

Mentally there is something I don’t necessarily need to get rid of, but more, get over.  A few years ago I rode my bike around Denver for hours.  Everything was fine.  I made it home fine, went to bed fine, went to the bathroom at 5am fine and then everything was not fine.  Somewhere between 5-8am I had a seizure or what I am assuming was one.  No one was around to see me shake but I couldn’t talk, move, do anything.  I kept passing in and out of conscience.  I thought maybe I had had a stroke.  It was beyond awful.  I won’t go into detail about it but that is an experience I never want to relive.  So in my rational thought process I assumed if I don’t ride my bike, I wouldn’t have another episode.  Well that’s probably straight up bullshit.   But it’s something I haven’t gotten over.  Cleaned out.

So again with this post, I vow to finally get out this summer, let it go and ride my bike again.

My sweet ass bike, a pink cruiser!)
My bitchin’  pink cruiser!

I think Freddy would be proud.

My favorite Zombie of all time… Bill Murray.
And my favorite Zombie of all time… Bill Murray.

Diabetes Blog Week Day 2: Keep it to Yourself.

Today is the second day of Diabetes Blog Week, hosted by the amazing Karen at Bitter-Sweet.  Each day I will attempt to blog about the topic put forth to diabetics across the world.

Click for the Keep it to Yourself – Tuesday 5/12 Link List.
Many of us share lots of aspects of our diabetes lives online for the world to see.  What are some of the aspects of diabetes that you choose to keep private from the internet?  Or from your family and friends?  Why is it important to keep it to yourself?  (This is not an attempt to get you out of your comfort zone.  There is no need to elaborate or tell personal stories related to these aspects.  Simply let us know what kinds of stories we will never hear you tell, and why you won’t tell them.) (Thank you Scott E of 
Rolling in the D for this topic.)


I’m a fairly open book when it comes to diabetes, and well, my life.  It’s probably due to me being a talker.  (Fyi, I just wrote a sentence that ran for two more lines but decided to cut it off.  I’m a talker.)  So keeping things to myself doesn’t happen very often and even less when I have a few glasses of wine.  Sigh…

I use to lie or hide my diabetes a lot, especially when I was younger.  But even now there will be times where I feel ashamed of something I ate or too many highs or lows and not fixing them properly.  Letting a sugar trend go on too long before I change my basal rates.  Use t1d as an excuse.  It’s amazing what guilt can do to a person.

There are times I want to celebrate my accomplishments or tell friends about diabetic experiences I have but I feel like they won’t care, so I keep it to myself.  Thankfully, over the years with the DOC being so prevalent and inviting and accepting, I share more of my diabetes life.  It’s nice to know I have a place to vent or “come clean” and no one will judge me.  And if they do, they can suck it.  They are just jealous and petty and wish they could share their feelings too but they can’t!  (At least that’s what I say to myself)

Any way!  Struggles are definitely the hardest thing to open up about because over the years everyone has had at least one person make them feel bad over a diabetic decision.  For me, it was mainly my first doctor.  (What a wretched man and I can’t believe he is still practicing.)  And then it was my parents.  I don’t think my parents realized how much their words affected me but they did.  And still do.  I know they are just trying to make sure I am healthy and everything but there’s a different way to go about it.  I told them my a1c was a 6.3 (I was psyched!) and they just said, “Oh.  Are you going to get it lower?”  I had a high of 180 and my mother said, “What did you eat?”  I had a low at their house and my dad comments, “Another one?”  It hurts.  A lot.  Even when you’re 31.

Okay, this post is getting harder and harder to write so I’m going to wrap it up.  To anyone who reads this, opening up is not an easy thing to do.  But believe me when I say the DOC is a great place to start.  Or meeting with other t1ds.  We get it.  We understand highs that I swear stick around for days.  Or complications that come after abusing your body for years when you were a teen.  Or scary lows where you are trapped in a sweaty nightmare and can’t get to juice.  We’ll help you however we can.   And if anyone ever gives you a hard time or makes you feel like shit, send them my way.  I’ll take care of it.

And now for something lighter!


PS:  When typing the blog title I really wanted to change it to “Keep it in Your Pants”.

The End!

Diabetes Blog Week Day 1: I Can.

Today is the start of Diabetes Blog Week, hosted by the amazing Karen at Bitter-Sweet.  Each day I will attempt to blog about the topic put forth to diabetics across the world.

Click for the I Can – Monday 5/11 Link List.
In the UK, there was a diabetes blog theme of “I can…”  that participants found wonderfully empowering.  So let’s kick things off this year by looking at the positive side of our lives with diabetes.  What have you or your loved one accomplished, despite having diabetes that you weren’t sure you could?  Or what have you done that you’ve been particularly proud of?  Or what good thing has diabetes brought into your life?  (Thank you to the anonymous person who submitted this topic suggestion.)


There are so many activities out there that people are afraid to do.  Run a marathon, sky dive, scuba dive, have a child.

As a diabetic, sometimes things that already scare us make us even more nervous.  How will my sugars react to: prolonged exercise, adrenaline, altitude, pressure, raging hormones?  Will I go low and not be able to treat myself?  Will I go so high I pee mid-flight?

I am proud of many accomplishments in my life but there is one that truly sticks out above all others.

My greatest accomplishment as a diabetic was being a part of the Blue Knights Drum and Bugle Corps.  If you don’t know what Drum Corps is here are a few videos and articles on what it means to be a musician that is also an athlete.


Bobby Knight:

Part of my show from 2000:

I would train at least 14 hours a day from May through August .  I would run, dance, perform on a football field over and over and over again wearing nothing but pretty much a swimsuit.  I would be in all sorts of climates from a hot desert in Modesto, California to the swamp lands of Louisiana, to the raging heat of Texas… all in the middle of summer.  I slept on a tour bus or on a hard gym floor.  I ate whatever food was prepared for me with no idea of a carb count.  Lots of sugary Kool-Aid type drinks, Hamburger Helper, cereal.  All while having T1D.   And this was before CGMs or before I wore a pump.  (Not really an option back in 2000 with the tubing and what I was doing) Plus the added stress of not wanting to let down the other members or my instructors and have them think I was weak or not able to keep up.  But I did.  For three years I trained like a finely tuned athlete in her peak for hours a day.  I kept everything stable and together.  Sure I had some bad highs and lows but nothing that stopped me from what I loved to do.

So that’s that.  I personally think all diabetics can do anything they want.  It might take some time, some training, some help, but you can do it.  If I can, you can!

Dblog Check in 4’s

I keep telling myself, post today, you have time!  And then I don’t.  I’m lame.  But it’s been a whirlwind kind of month… but when isn’t it?  So I’ve seen this going around and thought it look easy enough to fill out (though many of them I wanted to put more than 4 answers) and it’s #dblogcheck day!

Four names people call me other than my real name.
Jay (parents call me this 99% of the time)

Four jobs I’ve had.
Waitress during a college summer
Barista (for a hot minute in college)
Video Editor for the Denver Broncos
Creative Services Producer for CBS

Four movies I’ve watched more than once
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (I may even name a child after this movie)
The Birdcage
Father of the Bride (Steve Martin version)
Little Women

Four books I would recommend
Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives of North Korean People by Barbara Demick
Lean In: Women, Work, and the The Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg
Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris
Let’s Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir by Jenny Lawson

Four places I’ve lived
Everett, WA (Seattle suburb)
London, England
Ponca City, OK (yay, oil!)

Four places I’ve visited
Bali, Indonesia
Sydney, Australia
Rome, Italy
Dublin, Ireland

Four things I prefer not to eat
Squash/zucchini (certain types)
Hot dogs
Grape jelly

Four of my favorite foods
Rhubarb pie
Red wine (Sometimes I prefer to drink my calories.)

Four TV shows I watch
Law & Order SVU
The League
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Criminal Minds

Four things I’m looking forward to this year
Going to Vegas, Indy and perhaps somewhere out of country
St. Patrick’s Day, Opening Day, and the Kentucky Derby
Hopefully losing more weight!
Brandi having her baby!

Four things I’m always saying
Finch, *whistle* (to get my dog to come in)
Tonight at ten (it’s a work thing)
Blerg (my go to “ugh”)
I could use a drink

Keep Up the Approvals FDA!

From Dexcom’s Website:

“Dexcom announced today that it has received U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approval for its Dexcom G4® PLATINUM Continuous Glucose Monitoring System with Share. The Dexcom Share receiver uses a secure wireless connection via Bluetooth Low Energy (BLE) between a patient’s receiver and an app on the patient’s smartphone to transmit glucose information to apps on the mobile devices of up to five designated recipients, or “followers,” without the need for a dedicated docking cradle. These followers can remotely monitor a patient’s glucose information and receive alert notifications from almost anywhere, initially via their Apple® iPhone® or iPod® touch and in the future on Android devices, giving them peace of mind and reassurance when they are apart. The “Share” and “Follower” apps will be available on the Apple App Store at no charge.

“The Dexcom Share receiver represents a significant step forward for our company and our mobile strategy, but more importantly, it will provide a huge improvement for people managing their diabetes and for those parents and caregivers who help them each and every day,” said Kevin Sayer, President and Chief Executive Officer of Dexcom. “The FDA understands the importance of this type of innovation and the need to regulate it appropriately, and we could not be more pleased with the speed at which they reviewed and approved this important innovation.”

About Dexcom G4 Platinum with Share:

  • The Share receiver is anticipated to ship to new patients in early March 2015.
  • All patients who purchased a Share cradle will receive a free upgrade to the Share receiver.
  • All purchasers of a G4 Platinum receiver from January 1, 2015, until the Share receiver is shipped, will receive a free upgrade to the Share receiver.
  • There will be a low cost cash upgrade to the Share receiver for those patients who are still under warranty with their existing receiver.
  • The Share receiver will be compatible with future generation Dexcom sensor systems.

About the De Novo Classification Process:

The FDA reviewed the mobile app software used with the Dexcom Share receiver (both the “Share” app on the patient’s phone and the “Follow” app on the caregiver’s phone) through its de novo classification process, a regulatory pathway for low- to moderate-risk medical devices that are novel and not substantially equivalent to any legally marketed device. The FDA has specifically classified the apps which communicate with the Share receiver as a secondary display device and has noted that similar devices which provide only secondary display for passive monitoring, but which do not replace the primary real-time display device, will be subject to the same classification, subject to compliance with certain special controls established by the Agency with respect to this secondary display. This means that devices which comply with appropriate FDA regulations, including the special controls, will not be required to submit a premarket notification to the FDA before marketing a secondary display device for continuous glucose monitoring. The Share receiver was still evaluated as a Class III medical device.”

I wonder what that means for Night Scout.  Will I be able to share my info to my phone and then to my Pebble without al the extra cords?

It’s Like Riding a Pump

Errr… bike?

Have you ever switched back to your old pump?  For various reasons, well one really (I ran out of supplies waiting for the New Year), I decided to go back to my trusty Medtronic Paradigm 722.

I haven’t worn Gidget since… October of 2013?  And I have to tell you, going back was amazing.  I thought I might have trouble priming.  Figuring out how to insert the infusion set.  Or change the old basal rates to my current ones.  Nope.  I did it all at 6am, groggy with sleep, no coffee.   When I finally got up for the day around 8, Gidget was chugging, or clicking away, and my sugars were around 110.  What, what!?

I thought it would be a roller coaster of trial and error trying to figure out what I did wrong.  Did the insulin make it through the tubing?  Did I bend the cannula?  Is my carb ratio still the same?  After years of being turned off will all of the settings still be in there?  All was there, all worked out in my favor.  Neither one of us forgot.  It was like riding a bike.

So fret not my fellow pumpers.  The day when you need a backup pump that you haven’t used in years, it will be waiting for you, ready to jump into action.

Do You Feel Like a Machine?

The other day I treated myself to a massage.  They don’t happen often and I never really plan on where my pump and cgm will be placed before going.  This time my cgm was on my upper left thigh and my pump on my right flank?  Something like that.  When I talked to the therapist before we started I mentioned to take note of my cgm and work around it as best as possible.  Then when we got started I also mentioned my infusion site.  She asked if that was my pump, then what was on my leg.  Explaining the devices and what they did she said, “Oh, do you feel like a machine?”

Yes.  Yes I do.  That, or a robot.  Or a Cylon.  Hence my blog title.  But it’s a wonder why people ask questions like that in the first place.  When they see someone in a wheelchair do they ask, “Do you feel like a car?”  Or someone with a prosthetic leg, “Do you feel like a pirate?”  But more than anything, shouldn’t I feel like a human?  I’m not bothered by people who take interest, ask questions, and want to better themselves and learn more, but you can do that without asking questions like, “Do you feel like a machine?”

On a side note though, just a few days ago I posted a Tweet about my pump.  “Some days I am amazed I live off of a machine.”

And I am.  I find it incredible that I’m attached to a fairly small piece of equipment that can deliver tiny amounts of insulin and keep me alive.  I know shots can do the same thing but technically, if I didn’t eat (and everything went my way), this machine wouldn’t need me to do anything for at least three days.  Sometimes it hits me how far we’ve come since diabetes was labeled? Discovered?  Named?  And I am in awe of how I am able to live a “normal” life,

So while I don’t want to feel like a machine all the time, or have people point it out to me (especially when I’m trying to relax,) I am part machine. And doggone-it, people like me.