Do You Feel Like a Machine?

The other day I treated myself to a massage.  They don’t happen often and I never really plan on where my pump and cgm will be placed before going.  This time my cgm was on my upper left thigh and my pump on my right flank?  Something like that.  When I talked to the therapist before we started I mentioned to take note of my cgm and work around it as best as possible.  Then when we got started I also mentioned my infusion site.  She asked if that was my pump, then what was on my leg.  Explaining the devices and what they did she said, “Oh, do you feel like a machine?”

Yes.  Yes I do.  That, or a robot.  Or a Cylon.  Hence my blog title.  But it’s a wonder why people ask questions like that in the first place.  When they see someone in a wheelchair do they ask, “Do you feel like a car?”  Or someone with a prosthetic leg, “Do you feel like a pirate?”  But more than anything, shouldn’t I feel like a human?  I’m not bothered by people who take interest, ask questions, and want to better themselves and learn more, but you can do that without asking questions like, “Do you feel like a machine?”

On a side note though, just a few days ago I posted a Tweet about my pump.  “Some days I am amazed I live off of a machine.”

And I am.  I find it incredible that I’m attached to a fairly small piece of equipment that can deliver tiny amounts of insulin and keep me alive.  I know shots can do the same thing but technically, if I didn’t eat (and everything went my way), this machine wouldn’t need me to do anything for at least three days.  Sometimes it hits me how far we’ve come since diabetes was labeled? Discovered?  Named?  And I am in awe of how I am able to live a “normal” life,

So while I don’t want to feel like a machine all the time, or have people point it out to me (especially when I’m trying to relax,) I am part machine. And doggone-it, people like me. 

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