Diabetes Blog Week Day 2: Keep it to Yourself.

Today is the second day of Diabetes Blog Week, hosted by the amazing Karen at Bitter-Sweet.  Each day I will attempt to blog about the topic put forth to diabetics across the world.

Click for the Keep it to Yourself – Tuesday 5/12 Link List.
Many of us share lots of aspects of our diabetes lives online for the world to see.  What are some of the aspects of diabetes that you choose to keep private from the internet?  Or from your family and friends?  Why is it important to keep it to yourself?  (This is not an attempt to get you out of your comfort zone.  There is no need to elaborate or tell personal stories related to these aspects.  Simply let us know what kinds of stories we will never hear you tell, and why you won’t tell them.) (Thank you Scott E of Rolling in the D for this topic.)

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I’m a fairly open book when it comes to diabetes, and well, my life.  It’s probably due to me being a talker.  (Fyi, I just wrote a sentence that ran for two more lines but decided to cut it off.  I’m a talker.)  So keeping things to myself doesn’t happen very often and even less when I have a few glasses of wine.  Sigh…

I use to lie or hide my diabetes a lot, especially when I was younger.  But even now there will be times where I feel ashamed of something I ate or too many highs or lows and not fixing them properly.  Letting a sugar trend go on too long before I change my basal rates.  Use t1d as an excuse.  It’s amazing what guilt can do to a person.

There are times I want to celebrate my accomplishments or tell friends about diabetic experiences I have but I feel like they won’t care, so I keep it to myself.  Thankfully, over the years with the DOC being so prevalent and inviting and accepting, I share more of my diabetes life.  It’s nice to know I have a place to vent or “come clean” and no one will judge me.  And if they do, they can suck it.  They are just jealous and petty and wish they could share their feelings too but they can’t!  (At least that’s what I say to myself)

Any way!  Struggles are definitely the hardest thing to open up about because over the years everyone has had at least one person make them feel bad over a diabetic decision.  For me, it was mainly my first doctor.  (What a wretched man and I can’t believe he is still practicing.)  And then it was my parents.  I don’t think my parents realized how much their words affected me but they did.  And still do.  I know they are just trying to make sure I am healthy and everything but there’s a different way to go about it.  I told them my a1c was a 6.3 (I was psyched!) and they just said, “Oh.  Are you going to get it lower?”  I had a high of 180 and my mother said, “What did you eat?”  I had a low at their house and my dad comments, “Another one?”  It hurts.  A lot.  Even when you’re 31.

Okay, this post is getting harder and harder to write so I’m going to wrap it up.  To anyone who reads this, opening up is not an easy thing to do.  But believe me when I say the DOC is a great place to start.  Or meeting with other t1ds.  We get it.  We understand highs that I swear stick around for days.  Or complications that come after abusing your body for years when you were a teen.  Or scary lows where you are trapped in a sweaty nightmare and can’t get to juice.  We’ll help you however we can.   And if anyone ever gives you a hard time or makes you feel like shit, send them my way.  I’ll take care of it.

And now for something lighter!

PS:  When typing the blog title I really wanted to change it to “Keep it in Your Pants”.

The End!

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