Tag Archives: diabetic humor

In the Middle of the Night…

About a week ago I had a bad low while sleeping  As I sat on my kitchen floor drinking Capri Suns and eating Crasins with my dog looking for a hand out, I started singing “In the Middle of the Night” by Billy Joel.  Then I started laughing like a madman because I thought of the line, “in the middle of the night, I go low in my sleep”.  I thought it was hilarious, though it very well could have been a side effect of the low.  But that song has stuck with me so I decided to change the words of the one and only Billy Joel, and make it into a D-Song.  So if you play Mr.Joel’s music video and sing the words below, I found it very catchy.  And now I sing it all of the time.  I may have too much time on my hands.  Oh well.  Enjoy. (and fyi Roxy is my CGM’s name)

In the middle of the night
I hear Dexcom go beep
From the mountain of pillows
To my dreams so deep
I must be feelin’ something
Something sweaty and shaky
But the sugars too low
And it’s too hard to move

Even though I know that the kitchen is there
I walk down every hall and I stop and stare
I try to fumble with the light switch off
So I can finally find what I’ve been looking for…

In the middle of the night
I go low in my sleep
Through the panic and fear
I hear Roxy go beep.

I’ve been searching for something
Taken out of my blood
Something I’d like to eat
Something to keep me in control

I don’t know why I go low at night
But now I’m tired and I don’t want to eat anymore

I hope it doesn’t take the rest of my life
Until my blood sugar stops dropping down no more

In the middle of the night
I go eating in my sleep
Through the pantry of food
To the freezer so deep
I know I’m searching for something
Something sugary sweet
That I can shove in my mouth
Hopefully a delicious treat…

In the middle of the night

I’m not sure how many carbs are in this
God knows I try to stay between the lines
I fantasize that I’m perfect as I eat
Hoping that it’s only fifteen or twenty grams..

In the middle of the night
I go up and down in my sleep
Through the sugary maze
And the trials of the “D”
We’re all looking for balance
We all want that safety
That our CGM brings
To the sleeping d-peep
In the middle of the night

Now if only Billy Joel would record it with these words… That’s tomorrow’s project!

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Why “Push My Buttons to Turn Me On”

I am a bit of a self proclaimed nerd.  I like, no, love, Battlestar Galactica.  I dress up every Halloween, sew pinafores, dye my hair, buy “finds” at thrift stores just in case it might come in handy some day all for that one day.   I recreated a scene from Titanic out of Barbies and her pink corvette sinking in my bathtub because I love creating “films”.

So when my pump arrived, I thought, score… I am now a machine.

Then the day came along when I met a boy that I liked.  And that day turned into a relationship.  And then the relationship made its way into the bedroom.  (Please stop reading here if you have no idea what may come next.  I don’t want to scar your delicate, frail mind.)  And sometimes items you use to manage your diabetes pop up in the bedroom.  Sure significant others know about finger pokes, low blood sugars, and what your pump is… but me being the nerd I am, and in my awful attempt to “flirt” I said, “Push my buttons to turn me on”.  And yes, I said it in a robot voice.  He laughed and I told myself I had a keeper.  (Keeper until the next one came along!)

But I thought the witty play on words,” turn me on” and the voice of a robot, because clearly I am hooked up to an electronic machine, might be a good ice breaker.  And it was.

So there you go.  Why I chose “Push My Buttons to Turn Me On”.