Guilt and Pretzel Rolls

Emotions can run high… just like my blood sugars.

Sometimes when my blood sugar is high or I eat a lot of carbs…I don’t want my doctor to see my daily total go up or an outrageous bolus size.  So I give myself a good ole fashioned shot.  A few days ago I took 10 units from my pen because a sticky high would not come down. (It was sticky because I kept grazing from a gift basket sent to my department).

I know I shouldn’t be ashamed but I am.  I feel guilty for not being tighter with my control, for eating too many carbs, for going over the “green line of doom!” on the Dexcom.

I doubt I’m the only one that feel this.  Guilt is a powerful feeling, especially in diabetics.

So yes, I don’t want to rage bolus for a third time when my blood sugar won’t drop below 200 or when I say, “damnit, I’m having that pretzel roll!”  Mmm… pretzel roll.  But I will, just maybe in shot form.

That’s it for now because I must find a pretzel roll.

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Monday Poll: Which is worse?

Which is worse to hear from your (male) significant other during a fight:

“Are you low or high?  Maybe you should test.”

Or

“Is it that time of the month?”

Annnnnddd go!

If Only…

 

A follow up to my previous blog posting.

The 3rd Boob

I love dresses.  I own more than 75 dresses.  I could wear a dress every day.  What I hate is my pump.  Well not my pump necessarily, but my pump in a dress.  (And now all I can think of is dressing my pump in a little dress.  Tee hee so cute)

I’ve sewn hidden pockets.  I’ve cut hole to snake tubing through in dresses.  I’ve worn spanx even though I don’t need them to keep my pump snug against me. I’ve worn the leg garter.  I’ve tucked it into the side of my bra.  I’ve clipped it to the back of a zipper and hope my hair would cover it.  I’ve literally had my underwear fall down because my pump was too heavy and took the whole kit and kaboodle with it.

The one thing I have not been able to do… wear the pump in the middle of my bra.  Ladies, you know the place.  Right there in between your boobs.  I wish I could.  People keep telling me to put it there but I am not well endowed enough to cover the pump’s bulginess.  Yes, that is a word (in my own personal dictionary).  Unless I wear the Carri dress where she was HIDING her pregnancy .  I might be able to hide it in a dress like that but rarely does that dress come along AND look good.  When I try to put my pump in the middle, it just looks like I have a third boob, in the shape of a squarish rectangle.   Not pretty.

This summer I’m in a wedding and I’m trying to figure out where I can place my pump this time.  It’s fairly flowy towards the bottom so I may have to endure Spanx in 90+ degree heat in August to keep it on me.  Pockets are not an option and I’m hopefully not wearing a strapless bra (those suck).  Guess once it comes in I’ll figure something out.  Otherwise, I might just have a third boob.